Building Couple Time Tip:
The Laundry System Metaphor
When I think of organizing the lives of new parents with young children, I think of my laundry system.
I remember when our kids came along. My husband and I had been together for 8 years. I was amazed how much laundry accumulates when you have babies and young children. Please understand, I was in love with my babies and so grateful to have been blessed with our children, I just wasn’t happy about all the laundry. I also remember seeing my mother constantly surrounded with laundry and not being very happy about it. Looking back, I appreciate my mom and all the laundry she did for me, my three siblings and my dad.
When I shared my almost phobic reaction about laundry to my husband, he designed a laundry system to help us organize the laundry. Instead of huge mounds of clothes that would overwhelm me, he designed an easy way to sort whites, darks, underwear, hand wash, and linens. So instead of the daunting pile, I could pick and choose which basket I was going to work on. He would also help out when I needed it.
When you are trying to juggle all your important relationships and your marriage with young children, I think of organizing all the moving parts and relationships in the following system:
Spiritual Time, Me Time, Couple Time, Family Time, Work Time . . . I’ve organized them in what I think is an important hierarchal order, however, the parts are constantly moving. For example, if one of your children gets sick, then your child would move up the ladder. Another example is if you or your partner has a huge project with a deadline at work, then you or they might move up the ladder. If you need a break and some me time then you move up the ladder . . .
The key is paying attention to all the moving parts, talking and navigating through your priorities.
Remember one basket at a time. Even though all the moving parts and relationships need your time and attention, my hope is by focusing on one basket at a time this will help you feel you can do this versus feeling overwhelmed.
Please share in the comments how you sort and prioritize your relationships, especially when you have young children. Thank you for sharing your ideas with the Building Couple Time Community.
Enjoy!
Lori
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Are you a parent with a young child or two? Then I bet you're feeling frustrated, exhausted, and overwhelmed with the never-ending To Do list that comes with growing a family. This "Date State" guide will help you feel closer and more connected in your marital/couple relationship!